Archives for September 2019

September 30, 2019 by Elle

A LETTER TO MY HIGH SCHOOL SELF

A letter to my high school self:

Sweet girl, you are so loved.

Despite all the craziness of grades and friendships and pressures to perform, you are so loved.

When you get an A on that test, you are so loved. When you don’t do well on that test, you are so loved.

When you don’t get invited, you are so loved.

When you don’t have it all together, you are so loved.

When the world seems to be going perfectly your way, you are so loved. When the brokenness of the world becomes very apparent, you are so loved.

Even when you don’t feel like it, you are so loved.

You are worthy.

You are clothed with strength and dignity and laugh without fear of the future.

You are worthy not because of anything you have done or accomplishments you have made. Those things are great, and you should aspire to do the best you can possibly do. But when things go wrong, or you make a mistake, or you don’t do well, you are still worthy.

Keep on the path that God has paved for you. I know it can be hard, especially when the world wants you to veer off into all of the things that may temporarily fill you up, but God has something so much bigger and better.

Learn to say no. It’s okay to not do everything, all the time. It’s okay to take time to rest and fill up your bucket. Filling up your bucket with goodness will allow you to overflow into others’ buckets.

Learn to say yes. It’s okay to not have it all planned perfectly, all the time. Be a little bit spontaneous sometimes. Go for late night donut runs & last minute hammocking in the park. It’s fun, I promise. 😉

Friendships are so beautiful, yet they do not define your worth. Friendships are made up of two perfectly imperfect people, therefore, we can’t place expectations of perfection among them. You are worthy because you were beautifully and wonderfully made by a God who loves you more than words can describe. Even when friends disappoint you–which they most definitely will, as all humans do–, you are worthy. Focus on developing your values, your sense of self-worth, and be intentional about spending time with people who value those same things.

Guard your heart. Actively get to know & love people, but be cautious of who you let in to your deep hurts & pains & vulnerabilities. Trust takes time to build and typically a big act of vulnerability to establish, but remember that it is okay to take that time. And when that trust has been built, let someone in. Let them see your heart.

Don’t stress too much about the homecoming/prom dance dinner & picture party group. I sometimes look back on how much time I spent thinking about who was going to be in my group and if it was big enough or if it was too big and if our dinner place was going to be okay and if my date & I would get invited to an after party and who was having the after party– you get the point. As I entered into college, I realized that what my mom always told me was so true: you’re going to remember the fun things of the night and it can become a great memory, but I promise you, it is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Focus more on soaking up the fun memory than stressing about how the fun memory will form. Real talk: I went to homecoming with two other couples senior year instead of a big group and it was SO FUN. I had an absolute blast with my close friends. And I remember stressing that my group wasn’t “big enough” and finally realizing that I needed to practice what I tried to preach to myself for so long and do something a bit outside of the box and go with a smaller group who I would have so much fun with. Just have fun! Release any expectations of what your homecoming or prom will look like, get a pretty dress, blast your favorite songs as you get ready, and just soak it up. The dinner/picture party group will not be what you remember most about the night, but how you felt will.

Do things you love to do and begin developing passions! Take time to get to know adults and people outside of your high school social circles. Volunteer, build a relationship with your high school guidance counselor, start painting, or maybe start a blog. Don’t wait to “start” until you leave high school. The world needs you to start now!

And above all else, know that you’re loved and enough, even when you don’t feel like it. Even when those girls aren’t the nicest. Even when you’re rejected from something or feel anxious about the homecoming group. You’re loved more than you could ever know.

Embrace the opportunities high school provides & the football games & dances & home-cooked meals from your mama. But also remember that this is only four years of your life, and I promise, the best is yet to come. <3

Always,

Elle

P.S.– Here’s a pic of junior year year me & my sissies!

September 27, 2019 by Elle

10 THINGS: GET TO KNOW ME

I love getting to know people; learning about their favorite things, their dreams, their silly fears (for me, it’s flies), their bucket list to-dos. So today, I thought I’d share 10 things to help you get to know me!

1) My Instagram bio says “Saved by grace”– a quote I intentionally inserted more than three and a half years ago when I realized that I needed a highly visible, easily accessible daily reminder that I am not closer to Heaven because of how much “good” I do nor how perfect I try to make every situation and circumstance (which, for all my fellow perfectionists or people with perfectionistic tendencies out there, is not attainable because we are human and human beings are flawed). “Saved by grace” is the reminder to me that it is because of God’s grace that I am able to live knowing that I am forgiven and loved despite my imperfectness.

2) I have two younger sisters who are my built-in best friends. I love them with all my heart!

3) I have been to 23 countries. I LOVE to travel, experience new cultures, and learn new languages. I also love to plan dream trips and have planned many of our family vacations and explorations. Making travel itineraries, booking airplane tickets, and finding off-the-beaten-path type places are three of my favorite things to do. You can always find me dreaming up the next place I want to travel to. 🙂

4) My favorite colors are light pink and fuchsia. My love for fuchsia began in Kindergarten when I thought it had the coolest name ever (and I totally still think it does!).

5) I am an avid to-do list writer. Those who know me well know how I write everything down and am a bit obsessed with making lists and checking off the boxes… sometimes a little too obsessed, but it gets the job done, right?!

6) I love to research. One of my favorite things to do is take out a globe, place my finger on it, spin it, and then Google and read up on the country my finger stopped at.

7) I have a heart for educating and empowering girls locally and globally. Stay tuned for another blog post all about this passion of mine. 🙂

8) I am always, always, always on the lookout for the best self-development books. I mentioned in my first blog post how much I love Brené Brown– all of her books are totally up my alley. Vulnerability is something I struggle with, and when I read other people’s raw & beautiful stories, it helps me feel like I can share mine. If you have any recommendations for books about leadership, self-development, and/or faith, please send them my way! One of my biggest goals for this fall is to read more and spend more of my free time soaking up good books.

9) I’m an introvert. I love to socialize and meet new people and go out to explore new places and spend time with friends & family and I can be super chatty, but I need time to be quiet and still and by myself. Being alone allows me to write and sit with my thoughts and develop myself as a human being. So often in our culture introverts are labeled as being “shy” and “quiet” in all settings, but “introvertedness” and “extrovertedness” are definitions of how someone recharges– either by being around people or spending time alone for a bit, not definitions of whether someone is outgoing or shy. I believe valuing introverts in an increasingly extroverted world is SO important.

10) And last but not least… my two favorite movies: A Cinderella Story (the Hillary Duff/Chad Michael Murray version, of course!) and Letters to Juliet. I could go on and on about how much I love these two movies and the messages within them– but I’ll keep it short for this post. If you haven’t seen these movies, watch them ASAP! You will not regret it, I promise. 😉

Now that I’ve shared some things about me, I would love to get to know YOU! Your favorite movies, whether you are an introvert or extrovert, your quirks, if you have any favorite hobbies– all of it! Feel free to comment down below or reach out to me & we can connect!

Always,

Elle

P.S.- Link to the Free People two piece set I am wearing here! All the heart eyes for anything FP, am I right?!

September 17, 2019 by Elle

HOW I FIND BALANCE

I’m going to start this off by being blunt & straight to the point: I have not yet found balance in my life.

I know, I know… this title was deceiving! 😉 But maybe, like me, you are looking for something to read that will help you feel more balanced and centered and less stressed about all the things life is throwing your way right now. And maybe, like me, even after reading so many things about how to achieve a perfectly balanced life, you’re still feeling like your life isn’t quite there.

After my many attempts at achieving a perfectly “balanced” life, I read something that has forever changed my outlook on this topic: that balance is never really achievable.

Say whaaat?! My mind was blown when I first read that. You’re telling me I can never find balance & I am going to feel stressed and overwhelmed and like I can’t manage it all FOREVER?!

And then, after a few minutes of seriously reflecting on this statement I had just read, I began wondering if maybe this was the truth. That maybe, just maybe, by focusing on making my life “balanced” I was actually missing out on the opportunity to create a life that felt centered but also flexible to the daily curveballs that come our way.

Today, instead of trying to balance my life all the time, I try to center my life around what is important.

I know that some weeks I am going to have a lot more homework than others. And that some weeks the workload will be light but social obligations will pack my schedule. And that sometimes I am going to need a whole lot more self-care and rest time. So when I used to try to have an equal “balance” of all the important things in my life, it was causing me more stress than good. I was spending more time trying to squeeze my life into a box than actually living it.

Once I decided to change my outlook on balance in my life, and decided to create a life that was more concerned with being centered on the important things, I began feeling a lot more at peace despite an increasingly busy schedule. I have chosen the five things that are most important to me and continue to center my life around those things, instead of focusing so hard on balancing it all. For me, my faith, family, close relationships, school/blog work, and health/personal-being are what I focus on, then everything else. Some weeks I may have a lot more schoolwork and whole lot less time for everything else, but by knowing that my faith and close relationships, for example, are important to me, I can schedule daily time for my faith and time for these people I deeply love over other things that may come my way.

Some weeks I may have more time for things outside of my main five, but no matter what I make sure that my life is centered around these things before I commit to anything else. And honestly, I often still struggle with this– especially when I have a lot of incoming from a lot of different people. It is in these moments that I am learning it is okay to disappoint people and that none of us need to justify the choices we make about how to schedule our lives. There is limited time and so many awesome options– it is all about figuring out which awesome things are important to you & then making time for them! The ratio of these things in your schedule may look different from week to week and this is so okay. I always remind myself that I don’t want to live a life that is perfectly balanced, but rather, a life that is centered around what is important & flexible to the ever changing needs of each week.

You got this! Find your five things & schedule accordingly. I promise it’ll be so worth the peace you’ll feel.

Always,

Elle

September 6, 2019 by Elle

DEALING WITH CHANGE

If there’s one thing I am constantly needing to work on, it’s dealing with change.

In the last year or so, I have really been working to embrace change with an arms wide open and a free-spirited mentality. You know those kind of people that just seem so worry free & believe every moment of the day that it’s all going to workout? That’s what I’m going for.

The only problem is that I very much have a type-A personality and very much like an orderly, structured, scheduled, and planned life. Boy, oh boy, though have I realized that learning to deal with change– and learning to deal with it well — can create even more abundance & growth & fun & joy throughout all this craziness we call life.

Let me tell you a little story. Just over a year ago, I was eighteen years old, fresh outta high school, ready for college & all the newness that was to come. And while I was so excited for all of the things to come, I had also lived at home for my entire life & had never moved out of Chicago suburbia. This meant a whole lot of change was to come; change that I could not possibly prepare myself for.

My freshman year of college was absolutely amazing in more ways than I can even count. I have a blog post here all about it. But if there was one specific area God was working on inside of me, it was my ability to embrace His plan for my life even when I so badly just wanted to be able to predict every detail of my future.

Have you ever been there? In that place of wanting to trust that there is an incredible plan for your life that involves lots of change & highs & lows & unexpected twists and turns and yet wanting to control the changes?

Maybe you’ve experienced a season in your life where a lot of change happened. You transferred schools, moved to a new place, met the love of your life, experienced the death of a family member, or even just felt like you were growing & changing faster than you could’ve ever imagined. Maybe you’re in this season right now. Whichever the case, I want to encourage you to lean into the discomfort of embracing change. Tackle it head on. Leaning away from change has never served me well, and I imagine it won’t serve you well either. Leaning away is what causes us to miss the true benefit of change: the ability to transition through seasons of life with a high level of trust that it’s all going to work out. It’s what allows us to feel the sadness of letting go of what was while also being excited & grateful for what is to come.

I truly believe it is in some of the seasons that involve the most change that we grow the most, learn the most, and become more and more the person our Creator made us to be. And while change often means that the plan I thought was best for me may not be the reality of what is to come, I am learning that its signifies an event better plan in store. Lean into the change, recognize the discomfort of what was & embrace the excitement of what is to come & I promise you, the fear that may have used to come from this small six letter word will surely fade and trust for the future in store will replace it.

September 2, 2019 by Elle

ON POPULARITY.

I’ll never forget the first time I watched the movie “Mean Girls”. I was thirteen years old and was at a friend’s sleepover party when all the girls came to the consensus that it was the perfect night for us to spend a couple hours watching Regina George & her possé rule the school in some not-so-nice ways until Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan in real life) enters the picture. Being the oldest child, PG-13 movies were not introduced to me until I was twelve and watched “Wimbledon” with my mom (a movie about a tennis love story, LOL), so this was a BIG DEAL. I quickly texted my mom asking for her permission to watch the movie & when she told me I could watch it with my middle school squad, I was beyond excited.

Now, the point of this blog post isn’t to talk solely about my PG-13 movie endeavors, I promise. But when I was thinking of the words and experiences I have had that have shaped how I view popularity, this movie instantly came to mind.

In our culture, particularly as I was going through my young teen years, the word “popular” was very taboo. Movies like “Mean Girls” often portrayed popularity as a terrible thing that comes about when you frighten everyone in your high school by being downright cruel and wearing pink velour sweatsuits. But what I’ve realized is that popularity is actually, by definition, the opposite of this. The dictionary defines popularity as “the state or condition of being liked, admired, or supported by many people”.

And here’s the thing y’all… I desire to be liked, admired, and supported by many people. I think a lot of us do. By its dictionary definition, I’ve come to realize that I guess I do desire to be “popular”. I want people to like me. I want people to support me. I want people to admire me. I want to have a lot of friends.

And if you’re anything like me, when I’m not feeling liked or admired or supported by lots of people, I feel down on myself. I feel lonely. I feel like maybe I’m just not worthy of being liked by everyone. Especially me, being the enneagram 3w2 that I am, with a strong desire to achieve and perform all.the.time, I struggle with this one. I struggle with a desire to be “popular”.

I recently was having a conversation with one of my good friends about her sadness that she feels like she hasn’t found her “group” here in college. She explained to me that she has quite a few great friends but she doesn’t feel like there’s a large number of people who all together desire to be her friend. I listened and affirmed her that she is absolutely amazing and loved, despite this feeling she is having. She felt better and I was grateful I could hopefully help her feel more confident in her worth and the relationships she has.

And then it hit me… maybe this whole popularity thing and our desire to be liked and admired goes beyond just being liked and admired by a lot of people… maybe it is causing us to feel like if we aren’t liked and admired by everyone, then maybe we aren’t worthy of being liked and admired by anyone.

I know, that sounds extreme. But I want to encourage you to be truthful with yourself here… how many times has someone said something hurtful about you, how many times have you felt like you haven’t found a huge group of friends that are your “set” people, how many times have you been excluded from that group outing and your mind starts wondering what exactly is wrong with you that these people don’t necessarily like nor admire nor desire to be your closest friend in the world? It’s kinda crazy how one mean comment, one person not liking us, or an outing that we’re excluded from can cause us to question whether there is anyone who loves and admires and desires to be our friend, but I believe it often happens.

Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re having these thoughts. I used to think I couldn’t possibly be the kind of person who cared about being liked so much, and then I started taking close inventory of the thoughts I was having & why I cared so much what other people thought of me & making sure that everyone liked me (which, news flash, is never gonna happen! Haters gonna hate, you guys.)

I so badly wanted to write this post because I believe someone out there needs to hear these words: you are loved & worthy & enough just as you are, even if you aren’t the most “popular” person in the room and there are people who don’t like you. You’re awesome and you have innate worth. Stop letting your mind tell you things that are far from the truth of who God created you to be. I need to remind myself everyday that I don’t want to live to be liked, I want to live to give love and pursue the callings on my heart. Sometimes we will encounter people who don’t like us & Saturday mornings when we aren’t invited to the brunch & times when we wonder if anyone desires to be in relationship with us and you know what we’re going to do? STOP THE THOUGHTS RIGHT THEN. Remind ourselves of our worthiness. Remind ourselves that living a life to be liked by everyone isn’t truly living and that we want so much more than that.

You are so loved, my friend. You’re loved even when you feel like there aren’t many people who like you. You’re loved even if you don’t have 800 besties. You’re amazing and I so much so hope that you know that. Let’s not live to be “popular”, let’s live to make impact & change lives & give love in huge bursts to everyone around us.

Always,

Elle

P.S. Here’s a photo of me wearing a bedazzled pink princess crown to remind you all that you’re QUEENS. That is all. <3

Archives for September 2019

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