I just don’t know if I should start this blog. I mean, what if other people think it’s weird that I share a bunch of personal things on the internet. What if other people think that I am not doing this whole thing right or if it’s outside of the ordinary of what someone my age is doing. What if I don’t do it perfectly and I make a mistake and someone sees it. What if people think it’s weird that I want to go by Elle now, even if they’ve known me as Gabrielle (my full name). What if those girls judge me for dreaming big and having desires and wanting to share my heart with the world.
Those were my thoughts circa junior year of high school. Yes, junior year.
You see, for years, my biggest dream was to start a blog & begin sharing bits and pieces of my heart with you all on it. I knew that I wanted to go by Elle (my childhood nickname) and I also had the name picked out for my domain: Always, Elle.
I spent hours researching how to start a website, how to code/program different widgets and formatting onto the site, and dreaming up the color scheme (which, of course, is light pink cause, well, it’s me 😉 ).
For Christmas of 2016, I asked for a domain name & money to build my website.
And that Christmas break, I spent hours upon hours upon hours designing and building what you all now know as alwayselle.com.
I was so excited. Girl, you have no idea how excited I was. I was jumping for joy at the thought of sharing my blog & my writing with the world.
…and then, the voice popped into my head. I began questioning everything about the blog & whether I should even have one & whether people would like my writing & whether people would think it’s weird for a junior in high school to have a blog & a bajillion other horribly FALSE statements.
For almost two years, I continued fighting these voices. I so badly wanted to share Always, Elle with you all but I couldn’t quite get past the voices in MY OWN HEAD telling me things that other people MAY OR MAY NOT be thinking or saying about my blog (that was not even published yet!).
So, I waited until this past summer (the summer of 2018) to share my blog with the world. Finally, I had learned to overcome those voices in my own head that try & tell me that people are thinking and saying and judging and giving all the opinions about my writing and my Instagram and my dreams and my goals and all. the. things.
Girls, this has got to stop. I had a dream for two years (TWO YEARS!) that I didn’t share with the world because I was fearful of what other people may or may not be thinking about it. I didn’t even know what anyone’s opinion on my blog would be because I was too darn scared to share it because of the voices in my head telling me that I somehow know that other people are already critiquing something they don’t even know exists.
And here’s the thing. Even if I launched Always, Elle and I had a bunch of people coming to me giving all of their opinions, I can CHOOSE which opinions I allow into my headspace. Was this opinion given out of love by someone I trust and respect? Was this opinion given in a constructive manner? If not, let it go right over your precious head, honey.
The reason I am writing this post today is because I know in my heart that some of you have big, audacious, grandiose dreams that you want to share with the world. Or maybe, you struggle every single time you post something on Instagram because of fear of how it may be perceived by other people. Or maybe, just maybe, you struggle with tremendous anxiety and worry over every decision you make for fear of what other people may think of your choices.
I want to take a brief time-out to say this: I do wholeheartedly believe that we should consider the opinions of people we love, trust, and respect when they give us constructive opinions out of a place of love! So keep listening to those people– they will help you & make you better! The key here is to not allow even their opinions to be entirely what determines your decisions. Pray, take it into account, and then make the decision you believe is best.
Okay, back to the regularly scheduled programming. God has gifted you with an incredible amount of gifts and strengths and talents that YOU have the choice to develop and share with the world. And if other people’s opinions are what are holding you back from fully living your life and sharing your amazing gifts with the world, I want to encourage you to remember that you are worthy & beautiful & enough, regardless of what any other person may think or say.
Now, you may be wondering, what exactly changed in you that gave you the confidence to publish your blog last summer?
I spent a lot of time praying & journaling & asking God to please help my heart release the burden of carrying other people’s opinions (or lack thereof) in my head. I reminded myself daily of my worth and the reasons why this blog would (hopefully) bless someone reading it. And finally, I just hit that “Publish” button. Because I no longer was going to let my fear of what other people might be thinking or saying stop me from following my dreams.
And sweet friend, I hope you no longer allow YOUR fear of what other people might be thinking or saying stop you from pursuing goals and chasing those dreams of yours. You are so, so special and the world needs more of your unique kind of beautiful, regardless of what anything else thinks of it.
Always,
Elle
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25