When I was 17 years old, I thought I knew exactly how my life was going to pan out. I had it perfectly planned in my head. Where I was going to live, what job I was going to have, when I was going to get married, and the list goes on. My mind wandered so far into the future that I often found myself spending more time prepping for what was to come than remaining present on what already was.
And then, it all changed.
I turned 20, and my life began shifting in huge ways; ways that completely altered the discourse of what I thought the future would look like. It became apparent that my seemingly “perfect” plan was no longer going to be, and it was clear to me that I needed to make decisions that would result in tremendous change, not only in my life right then, but in the years to come. This proposed schedule of my life (that I had really just given to God and asked for a signature to sign-off on, without any counsel) was gone. I finally trusted that God’s way would be so much better than my own, and let go of the outcomes. I entered into a season of so many unknowns, and quite frankly, was scared. For one of the first times in my life, I had no significant plan or timeline.
The one word that kept coming back to me in this season–and that continues to come back to me each and every day– was and is release.
“To allow or enable to escape from confinement; to set free” as the Oxford dictionary defines it.
Even just reading that definition, my mind is captivated by the concept of releasing as a means to escape from confinement; a way to let go of the things that are holding us back from the best for our lives and step outside of the cage that control creates around us.
Never before had I thought of releasing as a way to become free. Prior to this period of my life, I saw my ability to control and plan and prep and schedule as the only way to feel free… from fear and uncertainty. But true freedom, I have found, comes from the momentary choices we make to release each and every part of our lives to a purpose that is so much bigger than a timeline we could try to create for ourselves. The irony of my life back then was that I felt more caged, fearful, anxious, and uncertain than ever. When I thought I had it all figured out on my own, I felt deep unrest; a knowing that God had so much more in store for me if I would just let go and trust.
Now, as I enter into year 22 of my life, I can assure you that the choices I made to realign my life with God’s best for me then were more impactful than I ever could’ve dreamed. Was it scary to let go of the things that were safe and known? Yes… so much so. But what was even scarier was the idea of living a life that was contained to only what I could see a few years down the line; a life where I was missing out on the incredible people and places and things that God had in store for me.
Release it. Release it all. Trust and let go and trust again.
I promise you, a life of true freedom, despite any uncertainty, is so much more purposeful and beautiful than anything we could dream up on our own.
One day at a time.
xx
Always,
Elle