YOU GUYS. I am SO excited. One of my longtime best friends wrote this post with me and I can’t wait for you to read everything we talked about. This post is kind of like our best big sister advice all put together. In the midst of so much uncertainty during these crazy times, we hope this encourages all of you high schoolers out there. <3
Elle: Hey girl hey!!! Thank you so much for coming on the blog today. For those of you that don’t know Caroline, she has been one of my bestest friends and one of my favorite people in the whole world since high school. We met in 8th grade during our leaps and turns dance class and reunited sophomore year of high school in choir. She’s been my OG girl ever since <3
Caroline: Hey Elle!!! Awh super thankful for you, right back at ya sista!!! ; ) So excited to chat today!
Elle: Okay C, so you know I go to you for advice on pretty much everything. I was thinking about all that we have learned since high school and all the wisdom you have shared with me about what you would have done differently during our high school years & I’m so excited for everyone reading to hear your perspective and all your advice <3
So let’s start at the beginning: what do you wish you knew as a high school freshman?
Caroline: Hmm if I could go back and do high school all over again, I can safely say there are things I wish I did differently. For starters, I wish I had taken advantage of getting out of my comfort zone! High school is the 4 years of everyone’s lives where they discover themselves and their passions and the best way to do that is by stepping out of your safety net by putting yourself out there!!
Elle: Ooooo, yes. I SO agree. I remember being a high schooler and seeing so many things to get involved in but sometimes wondering how to even start… like, where do I begin? How do I join a club or activity or what are ways to meet new people? It sometimes can feel overwhelming knowing what the first steps to getting outside of your comfort zone are and trying some new things. I remember feeling SO excited but also so overwhelmed by all the academic changes, the new class schedule, tons of activities offered, and hundreds of new people.
What advice would we give to a high schooler who is maybe wondering where to start?
- Look up and research all the clubs, organizations, and sports that are available at your highschool. The school’s web page should have a section showing all the organizations one can join and a contact to reach out to with questions! And even in the midst of corona virus, your school is likely putting things together to help you feel connected and involved. There may be virtual club meetings or other ways to still get involved even if not on campus!
- Put together a list of your goals for high school and what you want to get out of it.
- Find your schools bulletin board/sheet/online site with volunteer opportunities/activities you want to be involved in.
- Reach out to coordinators in fields/departments for advice and how to be involved with something you are passionate about.
Having some sort of vision/goals for your high school years allows you to find the areas that you want to focus on and search for organizations/clubs/sports that align with those goals! I also love how you mention reaching out to the coordinators of different activities– they are all SO helpful and they want to help you. Anytime I talked to a club leader or sports coach or person in charge of whatever it was that I wanted to get involved in, they always gave me the best advice and guidance about how to get more involved. Reach out, it’s worth it!!! ~Elle
5. Become best friends with GCAL (Google Calendar) early on, it’s a lifesaver! Reasons we love GCAL:
- helps time manage
- you can make meetings/appointments and share them with others
- helps to prioritize your time and set aside time everyday for everything you want to accomplish
We both looooove GCAL. It is the BEST for learning how to schedule your days! You can color code and organize it however you like and when I started using it in high school, I felt so much less anxious about everything I had going on in my life. Between practices, club meetings, homework, and babysitting, I needed something to keep all my commitments in order and GCAL did just that! ~Elle
6. Take advantage of your guidance counselor! They are there to help you!
In high school, my counselor was Mr. Piagentini, and for those of you that know him, you know what a COOL dude he was! During my open periods, I would go in and talk with him about everything. We talked about boys, drama, career paths, cliques, essential oils, dreamcatchers and more. One time I was insanely stressed and he gave me an essential oil kit infused with lavender to calm me down and get me through the rest of my day. Another time he gave me a cool rock from the Dakotas that had some sort of spiritual meaning. He was a mentor to me, and through all our interesting, wacky interactions I learned a lot about life and myself that I wouldn’t have experienced if I hadn’t gotten to know him. ~Caroline
7. Take advantage of office hours (even virtual ones)! Helps with good grades AND it creates connections you can use later on for letters of recommendations and life advice. Plus you’ll find out that teachers were our age once and WANT to help!
C, I know we’ve talked so much about advice we would tell our high school selves about friendships and relationships. Especially as a high school girl, navigating how to meet people, how to make friends, and how to be a good friend can sometimes be tricky. We both have experienced the ups and downs of high school relationships, from meeting each other (def an UP! <3) to dealing with drama/gossip and the harder parts of being a girl.
What advice would we give to our high school selves about meeting people and developing good friendships?
- Stick to your values and morals– it will eventually lead you to your kind of people!
Later in high school, I really started thinking about the kind of girl I wanted to become. I started thinking a lot about my values and morals and whether or not the people in my life were encouraging me to be the best version of me or keeping me from who God designed me to be. As I entered into college, I decided I would be really intentional about seeking out these kinds of people and pouring into my relationships that already existed with these kinds of people; the kind of people who lived their life guided by the same things as me. These kinds of friends are the truest, deepest, best friends I have ever known. Caroline is one of them and I am so grateful for her! ~Elle
- Go with the flow sometimes! We are both definitely a bit type-A and spontaneity does not always come naturally. Sometimes the best memories & friendships are the ones that you didn’t even see coming!
- Whenever you are feeling intense emotions, take a step back and process the emotion before making a rash decision.
Looking back, I can say that I struggled a bit with this in high school. High school is a time of a lot of emotions, insecurity, and stress so being able to stay cool, calm, and collected will be ESSENTIAL to surviving these four years of your life. ~Caroline
^DITTO. ~Elle
- Let go of what other people think about you. Everyone is worried about this same exact thing and isn’t paying as much attention to you as you think! Remember that everyone has their own things going on behind the scenes and that no one’s life is perfect, despite what it may seem like on Insta. We definitely wish we knew this throughout highschool!
I used to be SO worried about what everyone else was thinking about me. What I wore, what I said, who I was friends with, who I was dating… all of it. It took me years to even launch this blog because I was so worried people would think it was weird or not the norm or a bajillion things that did.not.matter. And if I’m being honest, I still struggle with this often… sometimes everyday! What I’ve come to realize is that people are always going to have an opinion. And if I live my life so worried about what everyone else thinks about me, then I will miss out on really, truly living and doing the things that I want to do during this one life I have. Don’t let the fear of what others might say about you keep you from doing the amazing things you want to do! Remind yourself of that every single day. ~Elle
- It’s okay to not be invited to everything! Not being invited to a party or that brunch that is posted all over Insta doesn’t diminish your worth in any way. Whether intentional or not, we know it can hurt to not be invited to something. Remind yourself that not being invited is not a reflection of your worth.
- Avoid gossip. If you are having a hard situation with someone, talk directly to them! So many girls go behind each other’s backs and say things that triangulate a problem that could be solved right on the spot. If you wouldn’t say it to her face, don’t say it behind her back. Build each other up when together and apart!
As my mom always says, “if they’ll gossip to you about someone, they’re likely gonna gossip about you to someone.” Surround yourself with people who build other people up! ~Elle
- Recognize that you are worth being in friendships with people who want to put forth effort into being your friend. Friendship is a two-way street and you are worth spending your time with people who value you enough to put forth that effort!
We hope that each of you finds incredible friends in high school and experiences awesome opportunities to grow and meet people! But, what do you do when things get tough? When you’re feeling less than or left out or lonely? How do you navigate it?
The first step is to take care of yourself and your mental health. Mental health/self-care are SO important!
- Remind yourself that you’re loved & important & that you MATTER! God created each and every one of you with purpose and this world needs you.
- Journal! Putting your thoughts down on paper always helps to release stress and anxiety.
- Find that hobby, activity, exercise, or book that you can go to that immediately brings you comfort and peace.
- Have a couple people in your life that you can confide in about how you’re feeling and be fully transparent about what’s going on in your life. Maybe your mom, dad, sister, or a friend or two. Being vulnerable with a couple people not only strengthens relationships, but will remind you that you’re not alone.
- Get out of your own head sometimes. Sometimes the best way to remember the good in life is to actively seek out the good in others; maybe try volunteering for a few hours or watching a funny movie or writing cards to people in your life that matter to you!
- Write down things you’re grateful for everyday. Gratitude rewires your brain to search for the good every single day.
- Exercise! It doesn’t have to be anything super intense, but even taking a walk can clear your mind and help release any stress or anxiety you might be feeling.
Elle: Okay, next: boys! Both Caroline and I had long-term high school relationships and there’s sooooo much we learned through dating in HS.
Here’s everything we wish we knew about dating and boys back then:
- Make a list of your non-negotiables/dealbreakers. These are your qualities that you are looking for in someone you’ll date. We are gonna say it again: DO NOT SETTLE! You are worth someone who is deserving of you and how amazing you are.
- You don’t need a boyfriend to go to a high school dance! Just because prom’s coming up, doesn’t mean you have to stay in a relationship with someone you know is not right for you. Sometimes going with your girls or a guy friend can be SO much more fun!
- If you aren’t comfortable dating yet, that is SO okay!!! You do you gf.
- Don’t stay in a relationship just because it feels comfortable and nice to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Know your worth and what you’re looking for and don’t settle!
- While dating someone, make sure to also prioritize your friendships. Sometimes it can be easy to want to spend all your free time with your new bf/gf (trust us, we know!), but your friendships are equally as important before you’re married.
- Luckily neither of us experienced this, but we knew people who did: if he/she cheats, END IT! If he cheats once, he’ll cheat again. You are too valuable to be with someone who doesn’t commit fully to you. You deserve SO much more.
- Don’t let anyone tell you you’re too young to feel a certain way. If you find someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with, trust yourself and your heart! <3
- Don’t flash forward the movie too far. Sometimes it’s best to take things day by day and trust that what’s meant to be will be. It’s so okay to plan a bit in the future, but know that the future will work out exactly how it’s supposed to. Both of us created unnecessary anxiety by worrying about things that were out of our control. Take deep breaths, talk it out, and enjoy where you’re at in the present moment.
We loved getting to share all the things we wish we knew in high school today. We hope each of you reading this know how loved, valuable, and freaking AMAZING you are. You have so much life ahead of you to learn and grow and we hope that at the end of high school you see how those four years have shaped you into a stronger, braver, and more confident boss babe.
We will always be your hype up gals, and you are always welcome to DM us for advice you need on anything! Think of us like your online big sisters. We love you!!!
Always,
E + C
P.S. some pics of us now & baby high school us below <3
