Well, you guys, where to start?! I had to spend quite a bit of time alone in Florida last week. Completely alone in a big ole’ house. Never before have I done this, and I learned so much through this experience. I’m the person that sees a somewhat scary movie & literally screams at the top of my lungs and jumps out of my seat, so being alone for some time was quite the experience. I wanted to wait to write this until I had people with me (safety first, didn’t want anyone on the internet knowing I was all alone!)
So today, I want to write about loneliness. It was not in my plans to be alone for a week, and it became my reality really suddenly. My plan was to fly home after spring break & then come back to Florida to meet my fam for a long weekend, but when I received word that school was getting shut down for a bit, my mom & I decided that it made sense for me to stay here until they came and not worry about all the logistics.
Now, I think I need to preface what I’m about to say by letting you know the following: I am very much a social introvert. I can talk a lot to just about anyone (if you know me, you know this hehe), I will be the first person out on the dance floor, and I’ve been told I come across very outgoing. But I also have some VERY introverted qualities & need my alone time to recharge and regroup. It’s how I process all the things in my head before I go back out into the world. Time alone is good for me… but TOO much time alone is a whole nother story. Where my social introverts at?!
A few days of solitude was going to be good for me, I thought. But a whole week? That got me worried. Sometimes, when I have too much alone time, I can get a lil’ too far inside my head. I believe it is SO important to take time alone to process what we are feeling & thinking & just be, but when I have too much time to do this, it can turn into me overanalyzing and moving into a headspace where I don’t have the most healthy nor productive thoughts. I think this can happen to a lot of us when we are isolated or alone for extended periods of time. And in the midst of all the craziness of the world right now, I felt called to share my experience with loneliness and how I worked through it.
Loneliness often takes many different forms. For me this past week, I was literally & physically alone. I was in a beautiful Florida house (which I think was the biggest blessing, that I got to be poolside & surrounded by the most stunning sunsets and palm trees so green they appear to have the saturation up to 100), completely by myself. But sometimes, loneliness occurs even when we are surrounded by lots of people; sometimes, it occurs even when it appears to the outside world like we have dozens of relationships & are very much noticed.
As we move into a season of lots of uncertainty and social distancing to protect people’s lives, I think it may be possible that we feel some loneliness. Or maybe, you’ve been in a long season of loneliness. This past week with hardly any physical social interaction has been a bit tough on my extremely talkative & sometimes touchy self. Either way, I want to give you all my best advice for how to feel connected & seen & heard & known, even when you feel physically or emotionally “lonely”.
I started by remembering that I am NEVER alone. Whoever you are, wherever you are, there is a God who loves you & never leaves your side. Joshua 1:8-9 says “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you may go.” Oh, what peace we can find when we remember that even when the world makes us feel lonely & unknown, there is a God who loves us so much that He never leaves our side.
Next, I reminded myself that even though they aren’t with me, I have so many amazing people in my life, even from a far. I called my mom a ton (what’s new though, lol) even sometimes to just have her on the phone as I went for car rides to the grocery store. I talked & texted with my good friends. I got to have awesome conversations over Instagram DMs with people about my blog posts & Insta stories. I used technology to remain connected, which I believe is one of the most beautiful gifts these dang iPhones have given us, am I right? 🙂
I spent more time writing & reading & going for walks & listening to good music and remembering that not all my relationships are with people who aren’t with me. Some of my most beautiful relationships are with God & writing & good music. These things that I don’t often see as being healing & so good for my soul… these are the things that helped me feel seen & known throughout this time & in seasons of loneliness throughout my life thus far.
Lastly, if you are feeling alone, I want you to hear this: I want to be your friend!!! If we are already friends, text me or call me!!! If we aren’t, send me a DM & let’s be friends. I have a whole lotta time to talk & learn about you & your heart & your life. <3
Whether you’re feeling lonely cause of all the craziness in the world right now, or whether this has been an extended season of loneliness, I want you to hear me: this too shall pass. Focus on leaning into people who uplift & encourage you & care deeply about your life. These are the people who will fill you up. Write more, walk more, read more. Call your grandpa or your friend or me!
You are loved. You are seen. You are known. Lean into those truths.
xo
Always,
Elle