I’ll never forget March 11, 2020.
My friends and I were spring breaking in beautiful Florida, complete with lots of beach days, slightly crisp skin (except my face… wrinkle prevention, ladies & gents!), nights out dancing under the twinkly Naples, FL, lights and restaurants… lots of restaurants (miss you, indoor dining).
But on March 11th, everything changed. I remember one of my friends mentioning that she had heard that a nearby college would be closing temporarily for the semester from this new virus that was “taking over the world”. At the time, we thought this was just absolute craziness. But just a few hours later, we received word that TCU would be closed for at least a couple weeks. As the shock set in, and I began scrambling to “figure it all out” while sipping a ~virgin~ piña colada poolside amidst lots (I mean LOTS) of people around me. (This was clearly pre-sixfeetapart.)
Everything changed in what seemed like the blink of an eye. The world, my plans, my idea of the future, my timeline… seemingly, well, “everything”. And it was in that moment that I realized something: if my “everything” is dependent on MY planning and MY ability to control my life and MY timeline and MY idea of what the future should look like, MY “everything” can come crashing down at any moment.
Notice the key word in these things: my. And yes, this is my life, and this is me living it, but this life isn’t about me, truly. It’s about living a life that lives & loves rooted in something bigger than myself. So when the world is uncertain and a virus shuts down life as I knew it, I can put my trust & hope in something that is unwavering and not dependent on my ability to control.
When all my plans changed & I had no control over the future, I had to do some major self-reflection. Either I was going to keep trying to control how 2020 would go, or I was going to dream & pray & take one step at a time towards God’s best for my life, even if it looked totally different than how I had imagined. This was my moment to let go & let God, literally. To love God, I’m learning, is the opposite of trying to control.
This year also taught me what it looks like to practice presence… to sit down with a book for hours and fully focus on the stories throughout the pages with attention that makes me feel like I’ve entered into a new world (or psych class, considering the genre of book I tend to read… hello, self-development aisles at Barnes & Nobles). It was the year of taking hundreds of long walks & just thinking, letting my mind wanter and dream. To talk to someone uninterrupted, no phones, eye contact, moments of silence & all. And wow, have I learned to get so much more comfortable with finding the beauty in silence.
2020 was a year of learning what true gratitude looks like; gratitude that is unwavering despite my circumstances. I found that this kind of gratitude–the gratitude that is to be found in even the craziest of times–is a source of constant joy in my life. To find the good in hard times, I believe, is a superpower that can completely transform our hearts and outlook on this one wild life we get.
And now, as I enter into 2021, I’m feeling BOLD. This is the year of boldness. Boldness in how I live, boldness in myself, boldness in my faith, boldness in my choices, boldness in my dreams… boldness all around.
It’s gonna be good year, I just FEEL IT. And I trust that no matter what 2021 throws our way, God’s got us.
Let’s be bold.
xx
Always,
Elle